cars and such

i walked a long that very road, callous and alone. tormented by the demons in my head, i created a metaphor roaming amongst the dribble that was my soul. I countered it a blessing in disguise that day as the car slammed into my body, crushed into a perfect representation of dystopia. I can still remember the moment, like breathing. Silent and defiant, it was not a goal of mine to pass the baton, but surely now as the opportunity arose the moment didn't pass me by. Nay, i would not refuse such a chance.

so i stood there bewildered, and shocked as the line began to blur. All around me fading into upon itself, like a bad movie replayed over and over in a mish-mash mattane. everywhere there were things pointing to the obvious, trully and defined. So i started to believe all the figures and facts like a blind rat to the slaughter. Surely enough, down came the gilloutine, passing judgement, taking away all that was mine. But truly, it wasn't. It was just what i had decided arbitrarily was and therefore I had allowed it to come upon me like excess baggage, and was weighing me down. slowly I began to thank every moving thing for the moment before me.

thats when i realised something so obvious, it amazed me. Something so simple, something so pure. That road i walked along? Was only a term. That car i stepped in front of? Only a vision, a diversion. that gilloutine? Only a tool for an end. It was all a dream.

there is beauty in the simplicity of the monotone

there is a beauty to the simplicity of the monotone,
the sound that cascades around my head
like a one man marching band
with all the extras and all the frills

the silence that follows
and then the reverberation of decay
so long down the assonance
derelict through the dissonance
and cut off through the sheer volume
that surrounds

there is nothing here but to remind me
and i can't let it go
sounds echoing round to the beat of the bells
ringing and chiming infinitely in a circle like motion
circumventing all feeling and emotion
and creating a new state of mind

there is nothing i want more
then the simplicity of the monotone
the silence between
the resting of the mind
letting it all go, just to remember it all again

polyphonic in nature, lonely is the sound
cast against the backdrop of humanity
in the darkest of ways
shun and frowned upon
nobody wants to know
here comes the monotone, reach out and feel
simple, basic, beautiful
there is naught better
the monotone is my friend

such a nice boy

the end of the world...
boom.
lovely
see you there

bah

so, think you are smart?
think that you have it all figured out?
here try this out for size
imagine it for all its splendor
watch it pale all into insignificance and stupor
watch all your earthly wisdom fade
thats what its here for
remember, where you're going
understand that you're nearer the end
but soon, it'll all seem such a waste
but you'll know it was for a purpose
bigger than you
and then it'll all be alright.

"How I wish, how i wish you were here, we're just two lost souls swimming in a fish bowl year after year, running over the same old ground, how we found the same old fears, how i wish you were here" - Pink Floyd

aphasia

i want to take it in my hands, and i want to crush it in two,
i want to watch it all disappear, and i want to heal

silent in the reverence of the moment
deciphering the coded messages as they appear
brain overloading with the cortex fighting
never truly knowing what it is
never really wanting to know
falling over sideways to escape the example
faking the desire, the will

I don't know how it got this far
maybe it grew some legs and walked
useless and formidable
like a giant gash to the head
blood seeping where it does not belong
blinded by the rage, the terror, the obnoxious
disguising the passion for guilt
running to the hills
somewhere somehow they built them
so there is where we go

Broken and faded,
discarded and jaded
the world will never know what has fallen

warm summer nights

so very cold...
i feel so cold
and i know
all i know
is the cold

intersting thought progressions

'Do you love me? Then feed my sheep.'

Interesting.

As children we evaluate people by how much time they spend with us. I see you all the time, therefore you must be my friend. Yet, the way we lose friendships at that age has the same volatility, do this or i won't be your friend anymore.

By the time we are older, we've designated a plethora of arbitrary guidelines of things we look for in friends. Fair enough too, not everyone can be friends with everyone. It takes a special someone, someone with skills. Someone like Jesus maybe, and yet, he was not friends with every one.

So how is that we often expect to be friends with everyone? Its impossible, we offend to many of them without even really trying. So then what are we to do? Basically, be a friend to those we can be, to the best of our ability and love the others just as much, if not more so. Imagine Peter, back in the day. When Jesus asked him if he loved Him and then He replied 'feed my sheep', what would have gone through Peter's mind? 'I'm a blinking fisherman, what the heck would I know about feeding sheep'?

Sometimes we care too much, say too little and offend too seldom. We should be building those around us, teaching each other about life and all its wonder. We weren't put on this earth just for the hell of it. We are here to do something, so we may as well help each other out along the way. We need to be open to the input of others that we admire and trust, and also be willing to return the favour. Trying not to get too excited and go on a offensive spree of telling everyone and anyone what their faults are, but knowing where the bounds are and sticking to them.

'Feed my sheep'.

This world is becoming a world of speed. How fast can we do things? How soon can it be done? Hello, goodbye, in the same breath. Who did you last spend quality time with? By quality i mean, did you gain something from it? Anything, no matter how insignificant it might seem? It is becoming apparent that this generation is indeed becoming the "single serve" friend generation. No longer do people have time for others, so they have a standard set of conversation starters, continuers and stoppers that they like to pull out at any one time. What ever happened to caring about what the answers are? Stop using formulaic questions. Care. The rest will follow.

Jesus didn't get followers because he was the coolest person around at the time, it was because he loved those around Him. So easy to forget in a fast paced neo-globalistic world, how to be there for people. Shallowness abounds everywhere, get over it, learn to swim. Its about time you fed some sheep.

hmmm.

shadow puppetry is like fishing

afraid of my own shadow
falling upon the skeletal remains
that clutter the head space
collapsing desolation
into the very formation that has become
the dribble propaganda that flows
in and out of time and place
watching every soul fall for something
like pins, like fools
feeling forgotten
feeling alone
just start running

silence, all that remains
collateral damage on the right cortex
while the left fights for dominance
egotistical struggle that can't be won
and knowing, not understanding
that the battle is lost
yet knowing that hope is only just there
imagine, just once
maybe not

wouldn't it be nice to say one word that changed it all
so here goes...
goodbye.

and yet... here we are

blatant misinformatin

nuf said.