right

i sat round the campfire light musing last night,
pictures dancing around shadows
collecting thoughts to throw away
i couldn't understand
it wasn't that i had no idea
or not that i hadn't tried the thought process out before
and yet, tired and reflective,
i wondered, what variables i had put into play;
like pieces to a puzzle, or parts for a car
i slowly put it together in my mind
but the whole time knowing it was nothing but a fantasy
and at the end of it all, I'd still be right here
right here...

Callous with old age and cynical
I can't help but know that nothing really matters
so even as i cast out my line, for the seventieth time
i just reel it back in knowing there ain't gonna be anything for dinner
and somehow, for no apparent nor good reason
it only bothers me in mind
the fact that i starve, does not actually cause me to feel hunger
nor does it cause me to wish that i had food before me
because if so, I'd have forsaken fishing long ago and taken up farming
or something along those illustrious lines
yet here i am right here, still... some question my sanity
i question my sanity
and i have no answer
do i care? not so really.
and so here i am, right here, still, right here...

I have forgotten that which i came for, and in so,
forgotten my purpose in this
and questions keep forming in amongst the grainy figments
that cause me to blubber around this thing we call life
and if I remembered maybe i'd find my answer
but maybe if i actually wanted to know it,
I'd have hunted it down, and killed it, and hung it on my wall
but i haven't, and so its out there somewhere
having a ball
and i?
you got it... still;
right here