Letters to something not pertaining to be anything in particular

to whomever it concerns,

it has come to our attention recently that the latest spate of events are concurrently not ascertaining to any particular venture in the near future. So, due to recent budgetary cutbacks we will have to discontinue continued use of this feature. Also no more research shall be done into the matter.

Please be understanding in all the new implementations that are about to occur. Be alert, not alarmed.

Yous,
The corporation.

4D

in time
we'll be there
in time
we'll get there
in time
we'll pull through

stating the obvious

So here we are.

Funny really.

The way that the light hits the glass, and reflects in to the eyes blinding the obvious.

The way that the sun burns the skin leaving a scared reminder of what could have been.

And all for what?

Seems obvious really.

Shame i can't quite place it.

So here we are.

In the same old place again.

Same old faces, with their wry grins.

Fire burning, reaching, extending its far reaching hands towards, forwards and ever advancing.

Rope dangled, lying circled chasing itself to the tail.

Sand draining through the fingers, creating another dimension.

Disguised and hidden, the sun refuses to shine.

And so here we are.

Again.

10 ways to kill a man

how do you kill a man, that don't wanna die
how do you pull that trigger and say goodbye
how does it feel to wipe the blood stains from the eye
wishing that tomorrow would come
down in the darkness between the mind and the soul
the part where all feeling is part of the control
and the breathing beneath and between
everything loses all meaning
i just wish that it'd die

pushing down, and pulling out
carving away the mind
sticking in to the places where it don't belong
i will crush it until the end is come
bring me back to the start, and never form
stay as far away from me as you can
im virial, and nothing will become

hello

i'm gone
oh so far
further down the spiral
like a drowning clown
washing all the fears
with the remnants of tears
and reminiscing about the land

you cant see me
so i laugh and wave
you cant hear me
so i say what you needed to hear
you can't feel me
so i walked the other way

so far gone and out of the way
pushed down and crushed into the internal
sinking through disaster
putting on a free face
designed and represented for the joy
i have no idea where i went wrong

further down the triangle like rudiment

something i wrote tonight on my phone, while i was supposed to be paying more attention else where... hmmm

Burning out, and over grown. Climbing down another rose. incensed and intoxicated, i can't seem to see. You said you'd never leave me, as i fight to stay awake. In the stillness of that moment, i can see the light. Running to and from the obvious, walking down that line. Hidden amongst the words, which no one can seem to find. Same day different metaphor, each breath the same. Sand in a glass coffin blowing all away. Tearing out, tearing in. Getting beneath the skin. God is my obvious, god be where i begin. Doubtless time will show it true as the only thing worth holding on to. I can't begin to fathom any more the places, dots, lines where the darkness does begin. I do but know, where to run to. I do but know one truth. That as i run i find my way to you. �

cars and such

i walked a long that very road, callous and alone. tormented by the demons in my head, i created a metaphor roaming amongst the dribble that was my soul. I countered it a blessing in disguise that day as the car slammed into my body, crushed into a perfect representation of dystopia. I can still remember the moment, like breathing. Silent and defiant, it was not a goal of mine to pass the baton, but surely now as the opportunity arose the moment didn't pass me by. Nay, i would not refuse such a chance.

so i stood there bewildered, and shocked as the line began to blur. All around me fading into upon itself, like a bad movie replayed over and over in a mish-mash mattane. everywhere there were things pointing to the obvious, trully and defined. So i started to believe all the figures and facts like a blind rat to the slaughter. Surely enough, down came the gilloutine, passing judgement, taking away all that was mine. But truly, it wasn't. It was just what i had decided arbitrarily was and therefore I had allowed it to come upon me like excess baggage, and was weighing me down. slowly I began to thank every moving thing for the moment before me.

thats when i realised something so obvious, it amazed me. Something so simple, something so pure. That road i walked along? Was only a term. That car i stepped in front of? Only a vision, a diversion. that gilloutine? Only a tool for an end. It was all a dream.

there is beauty in the simplicity of the monotone

there is a beauty to the simplicity of the monotone,
the sound that cascades around my head
like a one man marching band
with all the extras and all the frills

the silence that follows
and then the reverberation of decay
so long down the assonance
derelict through the dissonance
and cut off through the sheer volume
that surrounds

there is nothing here but to remind me
and i can't let it go
sounds echoing round to the beat of the bells
ringing and chiming infinitely in a circle like motion
circumventing all feeling and emotion
and creating a new state of mind

there is nothing i want more
then the simplicity of the monotone
the silence between
the resting of the mind
letting it all go, just to remember it all again

polyphonic in nature, lonely is the sound
cast against the backdrop of humanity
in the darkest of ways
shun and frowned upon
nobody wants to know
here comes the monotone, reach out and feel
simple, basic, beautiful
there is naught better
the monotone is my friend

such a nice boy

the end of the world...
boom.
lovely
see you there

bah

so, think you are smart?
think that you have it all figured out?
here try this out for size
imagine it for all its splendor
watch it pale all into insignificance and stupor
watch all your earthly wisdom fade
thats what its here for
remember, where you're going
understand that you're nearer the end
but soon, it'll all seem such a waste
but you'll know it was for a purpose
bigger than you
and then it'll all be alright.

"How I wish, how i wish you were here, we're just two lost souls swimming in a fish bowl year after year, running over the same old ground, how we found the same old fears, how i wish you were here" - Pink Floyd

aphasia

i want to take it in my hands, and i want to crush it in two,
i want to watch it all disappear, and i want to heal

silent in the reverence of the moment
deciphering the coded messages as they appear
brain overloading with the cortex fighting
never truly knowing what it is
never really wanting to know
falling over sideways to escape the example
faking the desire, the will

I don't know how it got this far
maybe it grew some legs and walked
useless and formidable
like a giant gash to the head
blood seeping where it does not belong
blinded by the rage, the terror, the obnoxious
disguising the passion for guilt
running to the hills
somewhere somehow they built them
so there is where we go

Broken and faded,
discarded and jaded
the world will never know what has fallen

warm summer nights

so very cold...
i feel so cold
and i know
all i know
is the cold

intersting thought progressions

'Do you love me? Then feed my sheep.'

Interesting.

As children we evaluate people by how much time they spend with us. I see you all the time, therefore you must be my friend. Yet, the way we lose friendships at that age has the same volatility, do this or i won't be your friend anymore.

By the time we are older, we've designated a plethora of arbitrary guidelines of things we look for in friends. Fair enough too, not everyone can be friends with everyone. It takes a special someone, someone with skills. Someone like Jesus maybe, and yet, he was not friends with every one.

So how is that we often expect to be friends with everyone? Its impossible, we offend to many of them without even really trying. So then what are we to do? Basically, be a friend to those we can be, to the best of our ability and love the others just as much, if not more so. Imagine Peter, back in the day. When Jesus asked him if he loved Him and then He replied 'feed my sheep', what would have gone through Peter's mind? 'I'm a blinking fisherman, what the heck would I know about feeding sheep'?

Sometimes we care too much, say too little and offend too seldom. We should be building those around us, teaching each other about life and all its wonder. We weren't put on this earth just for the hell of it. We are here to do something, so we may as well help each other out along the way. We need to be open to the input of others that we admire and trust, and also be willing to return the favour. Trying not to get too excited and go on a offensive spree of telling everyone and anyone what their faults are, but knowing where the bounds are and sticking to them.

'Feed my sheep'.

This world is becoming a world of speed. How fast can we do things? How soon can it be done? Hello, goodbye, in the same breath. Who did you last spend quality time with? By quality i mean, did you gain something from it? Anything, no matter how insignificant it might seem? It is becoming apparent that this generation is indeed becoming the "single serve" friend generation. No longer do people have time for others, so they have a standard set of conversation starters, continuers and stoppers that they like to pull out at any one time. What ever happened to caring about what the answers are? Stop using formulaic questions. Care. The rest will follow.

Jesus didn't get followers because he was the coolest person around at the time, it was because he loved those around Him. So easy to forget in a fast paced neo-globalistic world, how to be there for people. Shallowness abounds everywhere, get over it, learn to swim. Its about time you fed some sheep.

hmmm.

shadow puppetry is like fishing

afraid of my own shadow
falling upon the skeletal remains
that clutter the head space
collapsing desolation
into the very formation that has become
the dribble propaganda that flows
in and out of time and place
watching every soul fall for something
like pins, like fools
feeling forgotten
feeling alone
just start running

silence, all that remains
collateral damage on the right cortex
while the left fights for dominance
egotistical struggle that can't be won
and knowing, not understanding
that the battle is lost
yet knowing that hope is only just there
imagine, just once
maybe not

wouldn't it be nice to say one word that changed it all
so here goes...
goodbye.

and yet... here we are

blatant misinformatin

nuf said.

Blogg much?

sometimes i write because thats what i do. other times I find myself compelled beyond all reason and it becomes an obsession. I've been mulling this latest blog for a while now, apparently it wants to be written...


--------------------------------------------------------

Step one: Denial

I deny. I refuse to accept
I can't have thought out of control on me now
understanding limits is understanding freedom

Step 2: Fencing

I build a wall, try to find a home
Sheltering from the cold
all that scares the living day lights out of me
all my worst fears
i place behind my fence
I don't see it, don't believe it
therefore its not true
four is really seven

Step 3: Haunting

Every now and then
something comes to remind me of that which i left behind
and it haunts me
coming on like a migrane
leaving like a night train
only to be released...

step 4: Hurt

Self explanatory really
everybody feels
everybody senses
but some deny it
some refute it

step 5: Circles

Return to step 1

moments are just that sometimes

its funny how music can change a moment.

"Ive become impossible
Holding on to when
When everything seemed to matter more
The two of us
All used and beaten up
Watching fate as it flows down the path we have chose

You and me
Were in this together now
None of them can stop us now
We will make it through somehow
You and me
If the world should break in two
Until the very end of me
Until the very end of you

Awake to the sound as they peel apart the skin
They pick and they pull
Trying to get their fingers in
Well theyve got to kill what we found
Well theyve got to hate what they fear
Well theyve got to make it go away
Well theyve got to make it disappear

The farther I fall Im beside you
As lost as I get I will find you
The deeper the wound Im inside you
For ever and ever I am a part of

You and me
Were in this together now
None of them can stop us now
We will make it through some how
You and me
If the world should break in two
Until the very end of me
Until the very end of you

All that we were is gone we have to hold on
When all our hope is gone we have to hold on
All that we were is gone but we can hold on

You and me
Were in this together now
None of them can stop us now
We will make it through somehow
You and me

Even after everything
Youre the queen and Im the king
Nothing else means anything"

Trent Reznor is a freaking genius. Point made.

they said what now?

they say the black is only as deep as what you make it
they say that, obviously they've never been there
watch and wave, as you ride that spiral further
learn to drown as your mind begins to linger
i wish i could say that the end is coming
i wish i could say that i saw
but all i see is more black, a darker shade then before
and i don't know where the heck i am

there is a blanket there where i used to keep my thoughts
hiding everything and revealing nothing at all
all i think, is yet more useless dribble contained in a sentence
a moment, a memory
and as i watch this reality collapse, i realise what it took to get where i am
i'd like to say i know where hope is
but in truth, i don't want to know
i don't even want to speak another word
all i can fathom is creating verbs that involve exploding and destroying
imploding on the very thought pattern that kept me sane
and as i drift perpetually on this spiral
i can't help wondering why

internal screaming is good for the soul

i dont know... i just dont know...
and it does me a grave injustice
i want to know, oh i do
but i could care less to try
help me some one to find my wings and fly

intrigue

I don't think your listening, you've blocked your ears
and now your wondering how it became such a farce

every time, its the same, always repeated never a new game
watch it all, like on a telly, even a big screen
and continue to surmise the reprise to the lies that envelop you
don't deny, you've seen it all before
the way the ball moves from the court to the hoop
from the hands to the air
and imagine this, the very fact of the meaning the one thing that you decided was truth?
maybe its not so true any more, and so you continue to watch on
and wonder
and ponder
and ignore all the screaming noises around
the sudden influx of instances that should have been cast off, hit the ground
I don't know why its happening like this, maybe you should have
done something different, pointed the finger at another poor soul
anything to take the focus away from you
you
the one that thought you had it altogether
the one that felt that the very world revolved around you
and now, you wonder if anything revolves at all
your stuck in a rut and frankly you're not in any hurry to get out
thats why, people keep on passing you by
they wave and smile and say what you think resembles your name
but you can't be sure because you became deaf with all the lies you fed off
despising all that lives around you, becoming one with the darkness
like a vampire, sucking the life from everything that is
you can't breathe

I saw you laying there, huddled,
I saw you there broken
and i was shamed for you
i stood there and watched countless people wave and smile
I stood there and saw people give lip service
not one of them stopped to save you
not one of them strecthed forward their hand
guilty and depressed i cried aloud and made the world know my pain
why is it that no one will help you?
can they not see you in your pain?
can they not hear you calling?
can they not feel your hurt?
I certainly can
The darkness is growing now
faster now, then i was used to
so i sent out a messenger
let the four corners of the earth know it is time

Along came a man
nothing about him seemed special
nothing about him stood out
and yet, you saw him and knew the end was nigh
he walked through the city with not a care on his mind
heading straight for you, he reached forth
and took your hand

thoughts oft think unto themselves

im in trouble, capital t
and don't i know it
the very things i tried to hide
are coming out to fight
and torment me
with a flag, no surrender
i thought i'd nothing left
but here i am again

silly little nuisance brain
filled with such mundane
and pointless things
can't seem to maximize
the thought process
and everything i want mine
im forcing away

say hello to the very things u hold inside
i wish you all the best
wave and smile as they pass
maybe you'll get a hold on
nothing left but to cry and maybe glean some solace
from the fact that tonight you'll die
ten times over
it'll be sad to see you go

dont mention the rugby...

gah

a wise man, though he falls seven times, will rise seven times and be all the stronger for it

The Father:
so here we are, in that same ol' place again.
what i would give not to return here, what i have given
to make it so
I watch on, tears form, it hurts me so
I know that you try so, but still i cry some more

How can I forgive, how can i forgive you?
for all the things you have done?
What will it take for me to let go
what will it take for the price to be paid?

The Child:
Pacing the same five movements around the track
I feel so overwhelmed by it all
and yet, nothing i do seems to get through
and it all goes to waste
I can't seem to do anything, i can't seem to be like you

how will you forgive? how can you forgive?
For all the things that I've done, I did them to you
and the least thing i expect, is to be forgiven by you

The Father:
My heart it is torn from me, which way should i go
maybe i should end this, that would seem so easy
maybe i should walk away
Maybe the very thing that is needed, is the very thing least wanted
the very thing, i am stopped at saying

Forgive you? I can't start to fathom
I'm blinded by all the wrongs you've done me
all the things i've lost count
and now you ask me to forgive?

the Child:
Somehow i must make these words meaningful
instead, i waste them and watch them fall off the page
and instead of saying how sorry, they say
oops, i did it again
nothing can rectify that,
maybe if i gave blood,

Please, won't you please forgive me?
forgive me, me the lost, me the hungary
me the thief, me the murderer
me the cheater, me the human

the father:
and so here we are, back at point one
How I love you so, how it blinds me
i can't help but be ignorant to the fact that you tripped
and I can't help but smile that you asked of me
it gives me such joy that a child of mine
knows where to run, not trying to hide

Forgive you? I already did
i forgave that time when you thought you were alone
I forgave that time that you weren't
I forgave you for everything you did
My child i forgive

right

i sat round the campfire light musing last night,
pictures dancing around shadows
collecting thoughts to throw away
i couldn't understand
it wasn't that i had no idea
or not that i hadn't tried the thought process out before
and yet, tired and reflective,
i wondered, what variables i had put into play;
like pieces to a puzzle, or parts for a car
i slowly put it together in my mind
but the whole time knowing it was nothing but a fantasy
and at the end of it all, I'd still be right here
right here...

Callous with old age and cynical
I can't help but know that nothing really matters
so even as i cast out my line, for the seventieth time
i just reel it back in knowing there ain't gonna be anything for dinner
and somehow, for no apparent nor good reason
it only bothers me in mind
the fact that i starve, does not actually cause me to feel hunger
nor does it cause me to wish that i had food before me
because if so, I'd have forsaken fishing long ago and taken up farming
or something along those illustrious lines
yet here i am right here, still... some question my sanity
i question my sanity
and i have no answer
do i care? not so really.
and so here i am, right here, still, right here...

I have forgotten that which i came for, and in so,
forgotten my purpose in this
and questions keep forming in amongst the grainy figments
that cause me to blubber around this thing we call life
and if I remembered maybe i'd find my answer
but maybe if i actually wanted to know it,
I'd have hunted it down, and killed it, and hung it on my wall
but i haven't, and so its out there somewhere
having a ball
and i?
you got it... still;
right here

jibberish

boom stop loud noises stop worst feeling ever stop must get help stop send more money stop
end message

skin diseases are fun

hands over face, watching darkness play charades
ever entwining in the distant fog of memory
and somehow, yet, someway
right there, poignant and belligerent in the way that it moves
and i feel nothing...

so there i was entertaining myself to the tunes
of the fallen, juxtaposed meaningfully, purposefully
towards all reason and doubt
carefully deciphering the coded symbolic nature of it all;
as i read i waited for the chill
but nothing...
i feel nothing
nothing at all

there was a time when the paradox that lays before me
was at one with itself, in time with the melody
harmony, and rhythms of the ever changing chaos that is my mind
like a bull, charging, waiting, for no one to stand
but you know?
i feel nothing
and thats what scares me the most

not the fact that some where there is a warrant out for my arrest
nor the fact that some day i will be dead
nor the fact that maybe i will see the end
of this...
..
..
..
..
..
..

looking in the windows of the faded cottage
painted on the canvas of denial
waiting for the perfect moment that will never arrive
maybe the silence will deceive me, giving me more time
but for what, that is a good question, and to which i do not know
all i care about at the moment... is remembering how to feel
how to feel alive...
how to feel anything at all
just for one moment... again

in the stillness

graduations of sound, juxtapositioning limelight
diversionary tactics, all in everything,
and we're creeping further
...

somewhere deep inside, some thing has a hold on me
like a fist with a knife, with a grudge, trying to hide
and i know, how it feels to be dieing
i know, what its like to be the one crying
so here we go, follow the rabbit hole.... one more time

white meeting black, tenants of escape
manipulate what you will, never hold back
treat me with contempt, and we'll see where it gets us now

through the tunnels of my dementia, i crawl just to find a coin
there i found my one remaining thought,
in the stillness it formed, in the quiet, it loomed
as a marksman aims his arrow, as a gunner aims his gun
and there i sat, bewildered by the facts and realities
the things that i held to be true...

all the things i ever thought i wanted,
were not the things i needed
anchors dragging me down,
so i cast them away into the distance,
and as I watched the shoreline slipping
i sighed a gasp of relief
silently fumbling for the key
reaching out for the future i seek
i left a note carefully
and left without a trace

booyah

new concept for album:

Album title: Life from the Petri Dish

Tracks:

1. Fun Guys to betrayal
2. Deafness is overrated
3. Solemn confessions of a mutant ninja fiend
   
4. decay through doubt
5. Softly as a knife cuts the flesh
6. Angry music for goats and trolls
7. Microphones are for whimps
8. I didn't order sushi, but you gave me steak
9. Lice weather we're having
   
10. Petri dish a-la carte

that is all.

the ending of a chapter

with my last breath, i waste it here
not that it matters much, its only the last
as i tip my hat, and bid to leave
i know i am never coming back
I'll tell you a story, and maybe it'll be true
but it won't involve me returning here,
no matter the tune
So i'm sorry you wasted all your time
I'm sorry you gave up a dime
BAH i laugh in your face
i'd spit too if i was a llama
but decency is abounding
and I feel enlightened to let you be
so goodbye,
goodbye
adieu

pffft
*walks off*

----------------------

Chapter 1

Standing apon that mountain, looking over the land. I could see much, and knew i had done well. I appreciated that the mountain, in all its glory, had challenged me but I knew deep within I could not stay. So as i took a sweeping glance at all that surrounded I took a step and jumped...

i like swimming

the water laps at my ankles, pulling me deeper
i will not go, i can see the depths lurking
i choose the shallows, where its safe, where I know
but somehow...
drowning... how can it be?
water above my shoulders, i raise my head to breathe
I'm standing, water at my ankles
this paradox eludes me
somehow, some way... apparently its possible
and i'm drowning...

standing upon the shore, i chose not to swim
suddenly a wave, water all around me
I can not escape! everywhere, no where...
water?!
irony abounds, and i can't seem to find the humor
but i can see pointless, futile
and this is it
as i wallow back to the shore
nothing seems possible, except the drink taking me to the brink

I hope you're winning your war
I hope you're achieving what you wanted
I hope you got what you wanted
as i walk away, not looking back
I will not wave in your direction
its pointless, so i keep moving away
and i have no plans for the future
but this, i will not be here when you want me
I'll have gone, and it'll be your own doing

I made myself a boat, for the ocean
and i found me a friend to help me,
he captures the winds and gives me direction
he shows me where to go
so here i am, floating on the water
no longer drowning, happy
I can't believe i had let myself sink away like i did
no longer will i drift with the currents
nor will i let you be my guide
you had me wallowing in the shallows,
you had me stuck in the sand

"i hope this is what you wanted...
cause this is what you're getting"


------------------------------------------
I will not accept deadwood, it wastes my time. All it is good for is the fire, burn it, use it, get rid of it. I will not let it drag me down. Don't call me friend and not expect friendship. Don't ask my opinion just to waste away time. I will tear you down. I have no patience for the foolish, they prove themselves true enough. Wisdom comes through understanding that we are here for a reason, and if you aren't here to help me i will make you wish you were.

as in trains?

you said it would be different as i fell again to the floor
you said i wouldn't feel a thing this time
as you plunged that dagger in my side
blood knows no reason as it leaves me behind
I don't seem to remember signing a contract
but now i wish i had, help me i call
no one hears, not worth the effort, i just need to breathe
one, in, two, out, counting, not much use really
truth is, i'm dieing, truth is, it doesn't matter
I thought, you know
i actually had a plausible ideal that i'd have some last word
but now that the time is coming, i don't even care

there's a difference between the here and now,
sort of like the changes between channels as you pan across space
Not denying the fact of existence, just challenging it's worth
I don't need propoganda, i just need a word
a single syllable, a single moment to please my palpable mind
and as the thoughts flow in between reason and banter
bleeding seems so far away, so distant
that tunnel keeps coming, then going away
must be late for the 9.15 for Padington...

I saw then what i was missing, smack bang
maybe you'll see it too... i wrote it here
you just need to find it...

Fitting terms

how is it then, standing there watching, that you don't like the colour? I mean seriously. It's not even a bad colour, how is toup a bad colour? So relaxing makes you want to wallow in your own tranquallity, if you're lucky enough to have any. If you don't you can buy some at the door for a nice cheap price of $9.95.

100 ways not to get found

fortunately for all present, i have the pleasing ability to do nothing. Its a well paying job, try it.

It comes to my attention that i like food. Hence i shall go and eat some...
Exit stage right.

angst amongst anger

Urgently, stop... Will you run into the sun?
Beyond I lone, silhouette against the black
No quarter given, nothing gained
Disaster! I bleed, no one to hear me scream
Lies, all of it;
and I don't want it, don't need it
give me one reason to breathe
I would die, not give a damn
so much for the great and mighty plans
discarded, forgotten; i want of nothing,
I yell, blood curdling, last breath before the end
I know
people need to hear; I need to say
and know that what i give them is worth all this pain

Down to the bone, shattered
despised by all, they sense my power
and I am willing to fight
they're afraid, and knowing
cyanide effects the brain, kills soft
they're dieing, they need the keys
door's locked, looking but not finding
searching for a reason to give you
but i stopped caring, stopped fighting
and all this, this thing i call existence
not worth a dollar,
naked in the corner, I don't care
thats just it, isn't it...
nobody cares anymore

ranting of the seventh kind: I post therefore, you read

its funny how everything sounds right in my head. The way that circles are squares when needed, and dodecahedrons are hexagons. It all makes perfect sense until you try and make it work in the real world. I'm still working on that part, the whole its not really my head that's the problem its everyone else thing. I imagine that somebody will eventually find the solution and then all my problems can dissipate. Like they do in my head. Ah serenity.
Sadly no such thing is known to me, not even in my nice little idealistic realities i conjure up like a bad case of optimism after two lovely slices of overly priced chocolate cake. I oft wish that life was easier than slamming my fist into the wall every five seconds, just for kicks.
It is a funny thing, this life, the way we all wander round smelling roses, shooting our neighbors cause they looked at us funny, or drive bigger and nastier cars. I find it intriguing that we spend so much time looking inward that we forget that the real solutions aren't within... they're outside.
Get off your backside and stop wallowing all day long. If life was meant to be a wallow, there'd be way more mud and a heck of a lot more bikinis. Sometimes the thing we need to realise is that if we every once in a while stopped caring so much about ourselves and started to care more about others, our problems would become insignificant. For in helping another, trully you help yourself. Try it, its a proven principle. Im sure Paul would agree.

Parable of the psychiactrically insane aka angry music

So you wanna fight me, do you?
I hope you know how to flippen swim
there's no looking back for the future
cause the past is far to grim
somebody give me a gun now
so i can end this war in peace
nobody has to die here
well, maybe, just one
how is it you came here?
now i tell you to leave...
cause your moment has passed now
and the fun is about to begin
dark to light, light to dark
the soundings of the horn
forget all our learning
just to fall out on the way
fight me here, now, if you want to
but maybe you're too weak
the sands of time are not so forgiving
when poured through me
maybe its time you were beaten
finally
one time last

I will be your enemy
I will be your end
so if you come looking
don't see a man in dreads
instead see an anger
that is willing to see you dead

Revelations your time be here!
Wars and rumours of wars
tread carefully where the beast can hear
watch the world closely
watch it all fade away
but i've already won see
it says so right there
so pick up your belongings
and walk away from here
cause if i get onto you
heh
i can imagine far worse things
than death...

part 2

sentence to death
is the call of my soul
i will see you dead
before my life is through
shaken and forsaken
i will never be again
but you
oh you
I will kill you dead

meddle of the mind
mutilate the spirit
crush my very soul
those are just some of the tricks
that you have in your hand
but for how long
as the sun comes up now
i see a molten stream forming
off to the east
just north of here

So you think im kidding
well we'll see about that
get behind me satan or u shall become
the very first one to be killed by me
do not underestimate the power
that i hold
for within me lays the knowledge
of long ago
time is not an issue
i've got till eternity as well
I may not be immortal
but my soul is,
and its not as forgiving as me
so as you fall into the pit
one last time
guess who's the one pushing
hello, I'm fine

i refuse to work on your plantation no more
i will not be a number in your books
i will be your enemy
i will see you dead
i can not believe that you think you'll win
for I have forseen it
it says I win

part 3

So this is what its like to be at the bottom of the ocean
surronded by the life of that which is unknown
Damn, i thought it'd be different down here
but no, its all the same

so tired of this
so tired to sleep
damned if i want to; damned if i don't
somehow there is no patterns
and the world is gone so bleak
i just want to sit here and give the world a break

Right? so if i push the buttons that fill this void
and the silence becomes a sound
where do the dancers come from
where do they go
stuff it
i'll sit here and watch as the world falls apart
putting a gun in the hand, and a bullet in my mind
so
maybe if i want to just live
I'll have to go down fighting
and kill the brothers that live with me
huh
So whats with all the crap in my head
as i sit here and ponder all that should be dead

So carefully I place the knife to the floor
and roundhouse kick the man through the door
screw you, you rapist of the soul
I'll not take anything, not even your goal
fool
cause I ain't no nigga from out on the street
I ain't no mother that got down and beat
no
I and I with it and that be where it at
Jah be with me
and that be that
so screw all you lies and all your tears
I ain't gonna listen for fears
cause no matter what you sayin its crap
the lier the deciever u ain't even got a gat
I'll plug you and thug you and show you the door
cause I know what the hell I'm fighting for

Push me down
throw me over a hill
I ain't never sayin to satan be my will
stuff that
no
instead I'll be waiting here with a gun in my hand
facing the wind
and chanting Jah's name
cause He be with me
and you
(huh just a fool)
ain't got a knife in the dark that could ruin that crew
see
I'll be rolling in styles
befit for the king, I'll be rollin all over you
with my 40carrot bling
fool
so where you at when the war begins
I'll see you out the back
with a horse and a stable
and a man who knew Gabriel
cause at the end of the day
I'll show you who's king
for it be Him not you,
Him and not me

part 4

i fell down to the night, drawn from the sound
slow but determined, the colors will fade
dream of the real, but watch the alterior
somewhere we were forgotten
somehow they left us here for dead
foresight is over rated in a world long gone

brown leaves hiking their way to the footpath
somber with the weight of purpose
down ever 'wards
this is the sound of defeat
come closer only to be pushed away
go away only to be drawn near
befuddle the enemy with hints of intelligence
but know that the end is coming

the black the white is jumping
off the page and into my mind
from my mind it flows
like a river into my soul
decern the meaning through the puzzle of text
to one its a table to another its a pen
so where is the code now
when all is lost and gone
the bystanders are all at home
laugh and carjoile at the fact that they trusted a fool
but that is not for those here
that is for those already there
so pray now for them
they that are already gone
ghosts in a labrynth
of fallen hopes, dashed dreams
God gave them a story
but they lost it in the dirt
so i pray that we may remember
who to send clean clothes to

my third eye

i killed a man in my head
he was angry, not much was said
i watched him fall apon the ground that day
and watched on as he bled
he challenged me to honour him
but i couldn't lift a finger in his aid
in my third eye i was blind to all but me
contemplating sticking the blade deeper in his soul
crushing the darkness consuming us all
watching, waiting, sensing the end was nigh
i pulled out of my head and looked on by
what i saw then confused me to this day
it wasn't him dieing, it was me where he lay
i hadn't stabbed a stranger, oh no not I
i had put that fateful dagger into my own minds eye
seeking to right the wrongs for past eons ago
i did not understand that i did not know
my own self
and looking into the mirror now i see not me
but another
he is six foot three
his hands by his side
covered in blood
his feet show signs of a fight long won
there's a hole in his side
from where i dont know
but somehow it got there
and i don't question why
for its not me that i look apon in that mirror
on these days
its not a figment of a peculiar mind that creates visions
bent in time
no, its the only person i want to be
and he's living inside me, no longer dead
for he didn't die on no cross
just for fun nor pleasure
he died on that cross
for me
for me
for me

interior decor [a stream of consciousness]

sitting in the corner, with the blinds drawn shut
trying to keep the view simple
too many phrases too many stop and goes
all crowding in the station
waiting to get on board
but carefully manipulated by the surrondings
and bam they're all gone
fallen to the ground, and wailing
lost ideas and metaphors
i don't want them in my head
i want them dead
stuttering, get them out,
trying to tell you something
but the mindset is swollen
and the logic questionable at best
so i ask myself
do i want to make fire, and burn a tree
or do i wish for the silence that inhibits every breath
and slowly but surely causing me to fall behind
and i watch myself folornly
not much i can do
i yell and i scream
but i can't hear me
all those ideas
all those phrases
all those dreams
gone
all except one
and thats to move on
even though its one step forward ten steps back
never gaining always reversing
and never getting to where i want to be
rivers of mistakes and torrents of shackles
holding me back
so i got me some bolt cutters
and snapped them loose
but still, i can't seem to find the truth
and im still fighting to breathe
one step closer to the answer?
or one step further behind
I wish i could see here
but I am surely blind
All i wanted was a moment in this life of mine
whereapon i actually figured and got it in line
but surely enough
that was but a dream
and the only thing keeping my sanity
is the dream i keep for me

stunned silence

sometimes the silence says it all
watching the grass grow, watching it die
sometimes the last thing that was needed
was the first thing that entered
and the problem remains constant
nobody seems to know its alive...

theres an object, a shape of something in the corner
I lost count of the days, the months, the years
and its been there that whole time
brooding, like a wounded dog
waiting to be kicked just that one last time
and it happens
just as it knew it would
just as it predicted
and falling down for the millionth time he draws a breath and sighs
but as an object, he can't be living and so passes away and dies
now that corner smells a little funny
the scent was never quite right to begin,
but now its awful
the stench over powering, and the sight...
worse then a genocide
nobody cares about the shape in the corner
nobody gives a damn;
nobody lifted a finger to help him; nobody cried for him
for nobody knows of his trouble; nobody wants to know
they have there own little tea cups
and their own personal tornadoes
which to them seem out of this world
and the object; he's just an object
who really gives a hoot
he can't really bleed, he can't really feel
so why should we care about he?
cause that sticky thing on your foot ain't gum,
that paint you're using ain't red because they were out of blue
its red cause he bled all over you

now comes the denial, who's at fault you yell
running around pointing your finger and waving it like a flag!
If i'm to blame then you're to blame, and he's to blame as well,
cause you may as well keep running, for the blame game
will never be won...
blood drips from everyone's hands, whether we see it or we don't
coverting the very things we hold for granted,
and stealing from those that need,
we couldn't care less about our brother
he can hold his own head high
he don't need no other, he just needs to be alive
and therein we repeat it
the circle we call life
falling ever perpetually forward
till the only ones left to fight
are the ones stronger then the weaker
and that certainly ain't right
they that have the power often abuse it
and we say nothing at all
watch on, you silly minor
watch on don't cry
for everything will be alright
its true you may die now
but never fear, for America is here, they will come to your aid
and by America... i mean good luck with that

don't ever give your monkeys bananas they don't like to chew...

dieing, just a little inside
like the last time i nearly cried
and the popular opinion at the time
was that the crazy man had come to play
negative populations on the left side of the cortex
concentration campers here to stay now
and everyone gets to play,

forgetting all that i have learnt
and throwing them all away
putting the box outside the way
and nothing can stop me
except for this

this cancerous being on my right side
that sucking feeling in my blood
the realisation that death is closing
and that life is but a boat

somewhere lost amongst the colours
are all the things i thought i knew
but challenged by the constant flavours
there is only little i knew
digress and take note that the few that stand
are the few that remain
fallen and subjugated to the realm of reality
the rest of us lay
lost all hope and reason
we try and find us a game
but nothing works anymore
nothing sits anymore
only helplessness remains

looking into that deep dark hole
i realised that the sun was but a miner
digging its way forever
trying to cancel out the night
and its working
i can see it now before me
like a beacon leading me home
but then i stumble and i see dirt
and thats all i can remember
that same familiar taste
that same familiar rush
as i fall flat on my face for the millionth time, or more
something must be gained here
something must be learnt
that no matter how many times i've fallen
the earth can no longer keep me
and for that it can not be said
that i did not die trying

mask + disguise = incognito

its funny, how we all go along with the game
im ok, doing great, smile its all good,
doing all the right things
while slowly we fade away inside
like locusts eating our souls
burning out, dieing slow
and nothing helps to stop the hurt
shuffling about, everythings fine
no, no, its not me its you
i couldn't be the one hurting
i have to be fine
see i smile all the time
masks and disguises
running around incognito
no one knows the truth
we're all in pain
we're all in shame
wave a gun
bullet the sky
nope i'm good
see i bleed like you
wait thats black, like oil
seeping out, stand my ground
no it can't be so
i have blood, surely i do
but what i see says otherwise
what i feel, it lies to me
what i know?
it has to be...
its all i have
all i know
all i understand
what left do i have if they go?
nothing
and thats why we hurt
we go around marauding as though we've got it
but obviously we don't
stick up the hand
wave it about
im sinking and can't get out
help me...
its not to much to ask...
is it?